I've been living half a year with out you. A whole 6 months.. I'm trying my hardest Shawn, but I don't know how I've been able to get through the days..When I think about how much I miss you I feel like I'm drowning, I can't breath and everything gets dizzy and blurry. Almost like its a bad dream that I can't wake up from. I just have to sit there and watch my whole entire world collapse.. But as my world stops everyone else's keeps going. I'm constantly feeling that everyone around me feels as if I should be over it.. And I know the only reason they feel that way is because they haven't lost a piece of their heart. People who haven't experienced a great loss don't understand that once you loose someone it always stays with you, a constant reminder of how easy it is to get hurt. And it seems impossible to process the loss of someone who meant so much to you.. Just trying to wrap my brain around the fact I have to live my life every day with out hearing your voice is overwhelming. I miss every little detail about you.. I miss how you would try to embarrass me as I got older, and ended up getting so frustrated because you couldn't embarrass me as easily as you used to. That's one thing out of the many that I will always cherish.. Your ability to make me laugh would be another. Your crazy little hick and Australian imitations brought a smile so big that it hurt my cheeks.. Sometimes all we need is someone to lead the way and reassure us that everything will be okay in the end. But I realized that I'm terrified to let someone even try to hold my hand through the darkness. I'm terrified that I'm going to loose those closest to me and as a result of that I've ended up unintentionally pushing away the people I care about most. And I guess the hardest part of that process is watching them leave so easily. I hate to say it but death really shows you who is going to stay by your side through the darkest times and who will just simply walk away.. So thank you for all who have stayed with us through this tragic time it really means a lot and is very much appreciated.
☀️🐙🐚🐳TᕼIᑎGᔕ ᗯOᖇK OᑌT ᗷEᔕT ᖴOᖇ ᑭEOᑭᒪE ᗯᕼO ᗰᗩKE TᕼE ᗷEᔕT OᑌT Oᖴ ᕼOᗯ TᕼIᑎGᔕ ᗯOᖇK🐳🐚🐙☀️ Words can not describe the hurt I've been feeling these past couple weeks. I miss you so much Shawn... Not having your here is something I never thought our family would have to go through. I miss getting my hair messed up, getting sat on and going on all the adventures we would go on. Living together for most of my childhood was very memorable, and I cherish every fight we got into. I keep remembering when we were in SB exploring tunnels and you told me the plan for my future and how we were gonna move in together.. I really thought that was going happen. We were going to be the the elderly neighborhood hoppers disturbing their peace and fucking shit up💔 #tbt #imissmybrother😓 #homeiswhereeverimwithyou🌴