bio: Your darkness belongs to you, just the same way your light does🌙
number of photos: 31
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It feels like that day all over again. And it still feels extremely surreal that you're actually gone. The pain and emptiness that your absence brings is still too much to bare. This grieving process has been so mentally and physically draining.. It takes so much out of you, you aren't even you anymore because when you love someone with all your heart and soul you loose apart of yourself and trying to live with out that part of you is exhausting. Learning to live with out you has been absolutely the most challenging obstacle I have ever faced. And I still don't know how I'm doing it Shawn. Learning how to live with out your hugs you would suffocate me with, your contagious laugh, your bright personality, the fights and arguments we had. I miss how protective you were, it meant so much to me to know you cared that much. It's crazy how much a year can do to a person.. A year does a lot to you. I never realized how long a year was until I had to live one with out you💔 not a moment goes by where I'm not thinking about you. Forever and a day bud
This time last year you me and Ki were sitting in my driveway after getting back from saving starfish, shopping on State Street, investigating tunnels. I would give anything to go back to this day and relive all those memories that I now so greatly cherish. I would love to have you push me in the middle of the street again and throw your arm around me in front of boys that would pass by. If I could live in that day forever I would. I miss all the talks, and fights. I miss absolutely everything about your bright compassionate soul..I never really understood the value of all these moments until those moments became the only thing that I have left. That's all I have, I just have a bunch of memories that replay in my mind everyday. And I wish that was enough.. I miss you every day bud❤️
I've been living half a year with out you. A whole 6 months.. I'm trying my hardest Shawn, but I don't know how I've been able to get through the days..When I think about how much I miss you I feel like I'm drowning, I can't breath and everything gets dizzy and blurry. Almost like its a bad dream that I can't wake up from. I just have to sit there and watch my whole entire world collapse.. But as my world stops everyone else's keeps going. I'm constantly feeling that everyone around me feels as if I should be over it.. And I know the only reason they feel that way is because they haven't lost a piece of their heart. People who haven't experienced a great loss don't understand that once you loose someone it always stays with you, a constant reminder of how easy it is to get hurt. And it seems impossible to process the loss of someone who meant so much to you.. Just trying to wrap my brain around the fact I have to live my life every day with out hearing your voice is overwhelming. I miss every little detail about you.. I miss how you would try to embarrass me as I got older, and ended up getting so frustrated because you couldn't embarrass me as easily as you used to. That's one thing out of the many that I will always cherish.. Your ability to make me laugh would be another. Your crazy little hick and Australian imitations brought a smile so big that it hurt my cheeks.. Sometimes all we need is someone to lead the way and reassure us that everything will be okay in the end. But I realized that I'm terrified to let someone even try to hold my hand through the darkness. I'm terrified that I'm going to loose those closest to me and as a result of that I've ended up unintentionally pushing away the people I care about most. And I guess the hardest part of that process is watching them leave so easily. I hate to say it but death really shows you who is going to stay by your side through the darkest times and who will just simply walk away.. So thank you for all who have stayed with us through this tragic time it really means a lot and is very much appreciated.
☀️🐙🐚🐳TᕼIᑎGᔕ ᗯOᖇK OᑌT ᗷEᔕT ᖴOᖇ ᑭEOᑭᒪE ᗯᕼO ᗰᗩKE TᕼE ᗷEᔕT OᑌT Oᖴ ᕼOᗯ TᕼIᑎGᔕ ᗯOᖇK🐳🐚🐙☀️ Words can not describe the hurt I've been feeling these past couple weeks. I miss you so much Shawn... Not having your here is something I never thought our family would have to go through. I miss getting my hair messed up, getting sat on and going on all the adventures we would go on. Living together for most of my childhood was very memorable, and I cherish every fight we got into. I keep remembering when we were in SB exploring tunnels and you told me the plan for my future and how we were gonna move in together.. I really thought that was going happen. We were going to be the the elderly neighborhood hoppers disturbing their peace and fucking shit up💔 I never knew a pain like this existed. #tbt #imissmybrother😓 #homeiswhereeverimwithyou🌴