I remember this one time, we went to get Chipotle but I went to the bathroom first, while you got in line. When I came back out, I didn’t see you in line anymore, so I figured you had gotten your food and tried to find a seat for us. No big deal- I got in line and grabbed my own food.
I then saw you were outside on the phone, right when I was at the register. I figured I’d go find a seat first.
You came back in all huffy, thinking I was “punishing you” because apparently you thought I was thinking you were on the phone with your old hookup. The mental gymnastics on that one threw me for a loop. I told you I figured you had ordered and sat down, and the vending machines obstructed the full view of the dining area, so I figured you might’ve been back there. I also said that I don’t expect people I wasn’t officially together with to pay at the same time/be attached to hip like that. I wasn’t the one that was afraid of labels, either lol.
I think about why you’d assume something like that, when you should have known my character by then. But I am guessing it was a projection, or maybe someone did that in the past to you. How sad.
Was talking with my therapist about how I get myself some sense of achievement in everyday life, and I told her that I occasionally give myself little secret self-appointed tasks, where the only goal is to manage to achieve some completely random, pointless, arbitrary goal without anyone else finding out or asking me about the whatever weird shit I am currently in the middle of doing. There’s no punishment for failing to do so, I don’t dread any kind of an outcome, nor is there any other reward for succeeding the task, than managing to succeed in it - a little challenge with no other goal or purpose than being a little challenge.
She said that this is very interesting, and asked me to name an example of one of these quests that I’ve given myself. I froze, drawing blank, since my current arbitrary goal is to see how long I can go on without having to explain to her what furries are.
This does not end the way it begins
