Literally have not been on here in YEARS. Only two people I follow even post anymore. Went a few pages into my dash and it was literally the same 2 people.
When the time comes, & you see the scars on mommy’s wrist & body- Please don’t be ashamed or feel bad.
I promise- As a mother, I will do everything I can to keep you from ever feeling the need to do what I do. I will always be here to listen to you. No matter where I am, at work, or wherever. I’ll never be more than a phone call away at worst. I’ll come home or to wherever you are just to give you a hug & listen to whatever is wrong. Even if it’s at me. Please be open with me. If not, then your father. Secretly, we’ll tell each other everything- But we’ll keep that between us. So I guess I’ll know anyways.
I’ll never leave you alone, scared, or helpless. I promise you this. I never want to leave you with feelings of anguish, depression, or overwhelming sadness. I’ll always try to make you happy. Sometimes it will be out of my hands, but I’ll still be there to hold yours through it.
Mommy cut her body to get away, & forget. She started because she saw other people do it, but now she can’t stop. She did it to count the mistakes she made. She can’t stop right now. But soon, someone’ll help her get better. Mommy can’t do it alone. She’s tried. She’s gotten help but nothing works.
I’ll never put you on medicine against your will. I’ll never drag you to treatment if you feel like you can’t honestly get through it yourself. But I will always be here for you. I’ll never let you feel ashamed to talk to me about it, just because I’m your mom but you still feel alone. I’ll buy you ice cream & we can cuddle under blankets just eating it. I’ll build blanket forts with you & we can play video games or watch movies away from the world. I’ll take you somewhere you really want to go. I’ll show you that you aren’t alone.
Daddy will too. I don’t know who he is yet. I have a hope for who he is… But whoever he’ll be, I’ll make sure he’s worthy & ready to be your father. I promise I’ll talk to him about this too. He’ll understand, & he’ll be there too. He’ll take you to see movies, or sports games, or just to go for drives to nowhere. I promise, Daddy will be there too.
My scars are my mistakes. & I promise, Love. You won’t have to have them too.
I want to take a minute to look back on this. This was about 4 years ago. For anyone who knows me from back then, I cut myself regularly, I had multiple suicide attempts under my belt, including a big ordeal that had 5000+ calls made to my campus police, 200+ calls to my personal cell phone, bleeding out in the snow in the town around my college campus and a hot mess of an anxious girl who thought she needed one guy to survive.
I wanted to kill myself that night. Campus police came knocking on my door shortly after I found my way back and crawled into bed to cry myself to sleep one more night because my boyfriend was cheating on me and mentally abusing me by making it out to be my fault he had to cheat on me. How dare I go to college and leave him all alone. I was assessed with and by a therapist, put on suicide watch, and when I returned to my dorm my roommate grabbed me and hugged me, sobbing that she was so worried about me. In that moment I realized my life isn’t meant for someone to belittle me. Shortly after I left college, overwhelmed by it and shortly after returning home I broke up with my mentally, and emotionally abusive boyfriend. I met my soon-to-be-husband a month later. I met the now-god-father of my daughter at the same time. Both helped me get out of the awful rut I was in, without realizing they were saving me. There was a time when my future seemed so bleak that I wanted to end it and not see a life without some dumbass who wouldn’t give me the time of day.
That was then.
& This is now.
I’m the mother of a beautiful little 7 month old girl. I’m married to my best friend. I’m a personal banker and loving my job, coworkers and company. I’m on my own and living my life happily with my little family.
I look back at it and am thankful for the hundreds of people who blew up my phone, and my college campus police department’s phone to look for me. I was furious at the time, but I can still remember the sound of Link’s voice as he told me it would be okay. Of Joey’s voice as he told me people still cared about me. I had never talked to link offline, and I hadn’t seen Joey since graduation. I thought Joey hated me, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have fond feelings for me- but it meant enough that he didn’t want me to see myself off I guess. I came back to my computer to thousands of messages from tumblr and hundreds of comments.
Social media literally saved my life. I never check my Tumblr anymore. I’m rarely on my YouTube. I use Instagram because you don’t need to talk. And I use my new Facebook to keep up with close family and friends. That’s it. My life is finally able to be lived happily away from a computer screen where I used to seek love and acceptance from friends I’ll probably never meet.
I look into my daughter’s eyes now and see that she has my eyes. I can’t imagine them ever being as sad as mine were. It breaks my heart. I stand by what I said in my original post. Sophie, if you’re ever reading this. I’ll ALWAYS be here for you. You may not think I can understand you, but mommy has been through more than you’ll ever realize. Whatever you’re going to go through, I may not have done exactly, but I will always listen. I will support you, and I will believe in you.
To anyone; If you’re ever sad, or contemplating suicide, just know I was there too. I’ve swallowed enough pills, cut the skin enough times, held the gun just close enough to relate. I know. I’ve been there. But I’m here now. It’s so cliche to say, “It get’s better.” But it really does if you let it. From me to you, one day- you’ll be looking back at how you are now from a better state of mind and you’ll smile because you’re better off. Suicide isn’t selfish. You’re at your wits end. But remember, if I can come back, you can too.
frostbytemyrik: Hey you remember that huge ass log Ash ran with and tossed in that one episode? Well I calculated how much the log weighs, if you're interested.
I decided to start from the scene where the Bagon originally landed on the log.
Okay, was about to land on it. Point is, it’s the same log Ash threw. Now, Bagon is about 2 ft tall, and since he’s directly above the log, I can get an accurate measurement.
(That was as good as I could get on iPhone Photoshop.) Okay, so the log is 6.5 Bagons long. Multiplying that by two, it’s 13 feet. Now, the calculator I was using required diameter on both ends. I’d say the log’s diameter is fairly consistent all the way around, so I only needed to find one end. For that, I used this image.
The Bagon is a bit far away, but I think the log has roughly the diameter of the height of a Bagon. Two feet, which translates to 24 inches.
Now if you have looked at the top, there was only one thing left I needed to input. Doing some further episode watching, I found the trees in the area looked similar to cottonwood trees. (No image available because I was a tired shit from doing all of that math and bad Photoshopping, so I didn’t take a picture. The episode is called Pinch Healing if you are a tree expert and want to see for yourself. Also, keep in mind that I am anything but a tree expert. All I did were a few Google searches.) So I put in that the tree was cottonwood, and here is the result:
Satoshi/Ash Ketchum, a ten year old boy, almost effortlessly picked up, ran with, and tossed a log that weighed an astounding 1,385 pounds (or about 628.23 kilograms)!
1,385 pounds
The strongest Pokemon we never knew
Surely by now, we all know this boy goes to the gym
Technically he goes to several gyms
how does he even let team rocket steal his pikachu at this point when he could break their sternums with his index finger
I REGRET EVERY INSULT I’VE EVER SAID ABOUT ASH IN MY LIFE
i heard ash ketchum has an 8 pack, that ash ketchum is shredded
