she’s fine, but

she’s empty

she struggled through out the day just to past the time

she’s okay

she’s strong

she got this

she’s on her way back, then suddenly

she felt the darkness arise from the night

she decided to walk faster but it haunted her eating her alive

she knew she cannot go on furthermore

she stumbled on a solid ground, bare and helpless

she screamed, yet nobody heard her

she finally gave up

she got no one

she cried in agony, the pain slowly devoured her whole

she dropped then she left

she stared to a blank canvass

oh

she’s back

she smiled

she’s fine, but

she’s empty

(loop)

2018 is the best. There are a lot of trials that required so much patience, but there’s no excuse to be grateful for everything. God has given me a beautiful life and a happy extended family. I couldn’t ask for more.

This year taught me lessons in life that I’ll treasure forever. What I liked the most is that I learned what is the real meaning of FORGIVENESS.

Okay, story time.

Many people that I loved hurt me this year. It’s not actually new to me and I already got used to it. But the mere fact that I trusted them and gave them my full support, yet they still managed to hurt me.

It is really disappointing. I felt really awful to the point that I questioned myself if I did something wrong with them that made me deserve this kind of pain. It is their fault, but I blamed myself.

I went to sleep and cry, then later on I felt the anger inside me and the sadness started eating me alive. I got frustrated and eventually I developed some trust issues.

The first thing I did in order to be okay is that I made peace with my pain.

Making that move it not easy at all. It’s like swallowing a big lump of rice and viand in one bite. In order to get out in the jail cell of bitterness, you need to let it go. The resentments that you’re feeling will harm you more than your offender.

It is not something we do for others – it’s something we do for ourselves. Being free helps us to live in the present and enjoy life to the fullest.

If Jesus can forgive seventy times seven times, then why can’t we give other people the chance to prove themselves? There’s always room for change.

Little by little I learned how to forgive myself and the small joy I felt in my heart made a big impact for my well-being and growth.

Here’s my year end message to the person who’s reading this,

You can’t predict what may happen to you, but you can control how will you respond to a certain situation. You have the power of owning your emotions. You are the master of yourself and no one can take that away from you. Be kind to yourself, kid.

How can you say if you really love somebody? Does it mean you can do everything just to prove yourself to that person? Or give your full time and attention just to say that someone is important? For me to be honest, there is no instruction or manual that teaches you about the things that you must do. As the cliché quote says, “Follow your heart,” you must really follow what your heart wants because it will be your guide to the true happiness of your soul.

It is really normal to be bored in a relationship, especially if you’re together for a long time already. The long nights became cold times. The days that you’re together now feels like a routine. The same thing goes on and on like it’s on a loop or on a repeat. Then you start wondering what’s happening between the two of you? Where did all the butterflies in your stomach go? You asked yourself, “Is it still worth fighting for if you’re the only one who wants to continue?” You want to be unbothered but the pain strikes your heart every time you close your eyes. It hurts my dear, I know.

There will come a time and you’ll realize that you must put yourself first above anything. One major rule is that the joy and happiness must always come first. Don’t compromise your whole being for the sake of others that don’t value your existence. There’s no need to hide your emotions. The pain that you feel while you’re in a coffee shop is also the same pain that haunts you at 3 AM in the morning in the bathroom. You’re just a human being and sometimes you get tired. The best advice is that you give time for yourself and rest.

As Augustus Waters have said, “That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.”

The importance of someone doesn’t depend on another person. Loving yourself is also a reminder that you are strong and independent in your own beautiful way. Don’t let other people discourage you on being a better version of yourself. You always matter in this world. You are necessary and you are loved. True happiness comes from within yourself, not from someone else. Stop searching, start living.

“Always remember that you’re a precious gem and you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:31 NIV

SOURCES:

• Augustus Waters of The Fault in Our Stars – John Green (2012)

• The Holy Bible Matthew 10:31 New International Version

“Who can you run to when you are the one that everyone runs to?” – Soul (2015)

When I was in sixth-grade, I was given an award as the “most friendliest kid” in our class. I never thought that label would actually fit me because I’m not really friendly. In fact, I choose the people to whom I’ll talk to. If I don’t like to talk, I’ll ignore you or probably just pretend that I don’t recognize your presence at all.

But most people really intend to share their lives with me as if I was their walking and breathing diary. They said that I’m a good listener and advisor because I’m straightforward whenever they asks me some questions about themselves or the things that they must do in some situations that is really really obvious. For me, listening to them is like watching drama in teleseryes.

The advantage that I gain from them is that I learn life lessons from their experiences and I’m just watching them from afar. So, I’m completely unharmed. To be honest, I love reading books and people as well, which includes their emotions, desires, and feelings.

So, let me get back to myself. It is really hard when everyone depends on you. Sometimes even committing a small mistake really makes a big impact on your personality and how people look at you. How much more if it is scandalous?

Imagine that I am the woman that everyone else looks to for strength, but the hard truth is that I am weak and I don’t have anyone to turn to. It’s really hard to pretend that you’re okay everyday because you don’t want to be a disappointment to them. You carry the burdens of other people, yet your own problems punishes you. What if they were the ones in your place? Can they survive your daily struggles?

The fear that comes along with failing is my biggest nightmare and I can happily share with you how I managed to stand up and get back in the game.

I’ve been through a lot, and by a lot, it means I’ve been through many mud holes before to the point that I thought I’m about to give up on life. But my Father never let that happen to me. He moved mountains to the path I was about to take. He pulled me up when I was sinking in the sea of my sorrows. My God proved me that He is bigger that my problems and all I can do is to keep going and hold on to His promises.

Now looking back to my old self, it made me realize that there is really an answer to all of my questions. A strong woman knows that being strong is not an option for her, it’s a necessity; And sometimes, the only right answer is a spiritual one.

“He remembers his covenant forever, the promise he made, for a thousand generations.” 1 Chronicles‬ ‭16:15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

SOURCES:

• Reflections of A Man – Mr. Amari Soul (2015)

• The Holy Bible 1 Chronicles 16:15 New International Version

It took me three days to finish this movie “The Intern” because I’ve been very busy this week. There are a lot of deadlines and submissions of tasks that I need to finish. I thought at first I just need to watch it for the sake of watching and writing a reaction or reflection paper but apparently I really enjoyed it. The first reason is that I’m really tired, so I need to wind up for a little bit and this movie made that possible. I had a great laugh for some scenes that were extremely hilarious. The second reason is that I admire how the story was created like who made that idea to hire a senior intern in a 21st century kind of business were obviously internet has gone so popular? Lastly, “Ben Whittaker” really reminds me of my dad. Of course he’s not that kind of an ideal like for other children, but in my case he’s the most suitable father that I could ever have. We quarrel a lot and most of the time we misunderstood some things, but true enough, I’m grateful that he’s my dad. Anyway, he’s turning 75 on Monday. I wish he’s also proud of me as much as I’m proud of him.

Out of all the characters in the movie, I see myself as “Becky” except that I’m very thin and I don’t cry a lot. I’m unorganized person and I cannot work properly when I’m pressured. I know I can do a lot of things, but fear and shyness often affect me when it comes to showing what I’ve got. So, I end up being devastated sometimes because I have a lot of regrets that keeps haunting me every night before I go to sleep.

Well, the movie affected me in some way that even if I’m not a media student or practitioner, just a normal person, it will still make an impact to me. Not because of the idea or the plot that it has, but the message that the story wants to convey to its viewers. For some other time, we need to set aside our differences for us to learn. This world is already filled with noise and sometimes we need to stop in order to listen. Being quiet can be a struggle, but it can help us to maintain our inner peace in ourselves. As per Ecclesiastes 3:7 says, there is “A time to tear and a time to mend, a time to keep silent, and a time to speak.” For in the silence the Lord our God speaks to us.

With the help of social media, families can be connected to each other; not only physically but also virtually. Maybe in the future there will be a lot of inventions to be made that will help us to grow and make our relationships with each other stronger and better. There is still a lot to discover, all you need to do is take part of it and start right now.

The cast and the crew of The Intern

Individuals embrace current circumstances. They get ready for and stress over what’s to come. Then again, history sums up everything that has happened beforehand. Contemplating the history is significant because it enables us to comprehend our past, which thus permits to comprehend our present. When it comes to understanding present-day problems or situations, we must realize to ourselves that the way our world functions today is a result of the past that we had yesterday. In order to learn from our mistakes, we have to look to history for answers. In this manner, we can avoid repeating the same blunder all over again.

As the public often says that “history repeats itself,” we can do something for a better change. Examining the history can give us knowledge into our civilization and also societies with which we may be less recognizable, in this manner expanding diverse mindfulness and comprehension. Well, in the first place, history offers a large dimension of information about how people and societies behave and go along with each other.

My favorite part of our museum tour is when we went inside the dark room and our guide lighted up the countries that has a biblical meaning to the history of mankind. For me, I saw this representation as a metaphor of life and hope. At first, there is nothing but darkness, but after that God gave his only son, Jesus, to light up the world and save our sinful souls from an eternal suffering in hell. He sacrificed his beloved son for our sake and who are we to receive that kind of greatness from the heavens above? We must always be thankful for He has this unconditional love for each and every one of us.

After an hour or so of our little journey inside the Iglesia Ni Cristo museum, I came to realize that this institution had already been through a lot, not only in religious aspects, but also in the general mankind of the society that we live in. It is true that before you will be successful into something that you want to achieve in life, there will be a lot of trials and struggles that will come into your way to test your strength and well-being. In their case, their faith was tested through the executions that were made by the Japanese regime in the Philippines. They stand for what they believed and because of their faith, they were saved.

It goes down today for their continued success in everything that they do and it can also happen to anyone that is willing to try doing it, too. Like there’s nothing wrong with failing, because what matters the most is you stand up again and give your best shot in everything. We can set aside our differences for a while; culture, religion or whatever it is. If we have a common goal of doing all things together for a righteous purpose, we can do it when we are united as one. Equity and fairness shall reign upon us all.

Editor Joyce Pañares, from Manila Standard, shared some important points on the Broadcast Journalism Forum last January 27, 2018 about the reality on social media and fake news at the newly renovated New Era University hall.

I really had fun listening to her because she is very prank and honest towards her views and opinions in life. She enthusiastically discussed her topics briefly, but what impacted me the most is information. She said there are two types of information that people received from the media — misinformation and disinformation.

In misinformation, you are informed about something that is not true and you decided to spread it and there will come a time when you will be corrected and you will admit that you are wrong that is why you will need to apologize to the things that you have said. On the other hand, disinformation is when you know that you are wrong, but you will stand up for it and believe that it is right.

Ms. Joyce for me is very brave for she stands for what she believes and she is very honest to admit her mistakes to the public and pay for it if she really commit any of those.

I agreed to what she have said that there are no objectivity in writing a news. Everyone must obey the rules and ethics of journalism and we must serve the public whole-heatedly in giving back to our country. We must not spoon-feed them with lies. Especially, if we know in ourselves that doing those things will not lead us to any good progress and betterment of our motherland.

2017 is a tough year for me. I fall then I rise up, then fall again, then decided to just stop. Stop from all the sufferings. Stop for everything. I never thought growing up is so hard. It made me do some things I’ve never imagined. There were a lot of gifts that were not for me, yet I experienced the privilege to have one and to be one. It’s like a beautiful disaster waiting to be unraveled every single day. A blessing in disguise indeed and I certainly loved it. The horrible fear and the passion to live for another person. To dream again and to try even if you’re already in the merge of giving up. To forgive in order to heal. To accept and blame no one. I made a lot of realizations and now, I’m starting all over again. Despite of all the pain and horror, I am still here standing and fighting my battles, but I know I’m not alone. Thank you for all the people who stayed even if I am a difficult person to deal with. Thank you for reminding me constantly that I’m still worth it and my story is not yet finish. I’m happy that I’m someone’s reason to wake up to every morning. I’m also happy to touch someone’s heart and made a lot of difference into it. Dance in the rain and put colors in someone’s monotonous life. I made you believe again and you gave me so much to remember. In the end, I’ve decided to continue and be satisfied with just myself. Enjoy life and wait for the perfect timing for everything. No need to rush, darling. No pressure. This year made me a better human being. A damaged person who still gives her whole heart in everything that she does and regrets nothing in every decision that she makes. I’m looking forward for an another glorious year in 2018. C’mon dude I’m ready for round two.

John Lewis Christmas Advert 2015 Man on the Moon

The old man and the kid

In this commercial, we can see that a girl saw an old man on the moon. The man is all by himself and he feels so sad. I can tell it by just seeing the look on the old man’s eyes as he sat on the bench near his house on the moon.

The old man sitting on his bench

The telescope view of the kid of the man on the moon

The little girl was very enthused on reaching the man on the moon. She even made a lot of ways like climbing their roof, raising her letter with her tiny little fingers for the old man to see, attaching her letter to her improvised arrow and lastly, making her letter to a paper airplane in order to fly it to the moon.

The kid looking in her John Lewis’ telescope

As the Christmas came to town, the old man received a gift which was attached to the balloons. The old man finally smiled as he opened it and when he saw the kid waved at him while it’s Christmas here on earth, I know he finally felt genuinely happy. A tear escaped from his eyes and for me that is the highlight of this commercial.

The telescope gift from John Lewis

John Lewis is an appliance shop where you can find a lot of things, especially their fully designed and curated telescopes. Of course the commercial was somehow fictionalized but it just shows that their telescopes are very powerful that it can reach a man on the moon.

The old man using his John Telescope to see the earth

This commercial really made me cry the moment the kid and the old man finally saw each other through John Lewis’ telescopes. It’s like a small kindness wherein the commercial shows that they care for other people and they also express their little act of love to the people who watch this commercial throughout their tagline “Show Someone They’re Loved This Christmas.”

The John Lewis Christmas 2015 tagline

I also loved how they chose the accurate theme song for this commercial which is “Half The World Away” by AURORA. It is one of the songs I always listen to when I’m sad, lonely or just having a bad day. The lyrics of the song really fit well for the commercial not because the man is on the moon and he is literally “half the world away” but figuratively, because even if he is million light years away from the earth, someone out there actually cares for him and he is not alone.

The look of the old man’s eyes

“I’ve been lost, I’ve been found

But I don’t feel down”

Half The World Away – AURORA

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Kindly click the captions for the photo credits. Thank you!