pink-heart-writes:

“There is a reason I said I’d be happy alone. It wasn’t ‘cause I thought I’d be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart I might not make it. It’s easier to be alone because what if you learn that you need love and then you don’t have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It’s like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever.”

— Meredith Grey

pink-heart-writes:

of course i want to love and be loved. i want the first date and late nights talking on the phone. to be swept off my feet and flowers every now and then. i want love letters and forehead kisses. my favorite chocolate with a sticky note saying “i love you”. i want the random “i miss you” messages and the “i’ll pick you up in 15 to watch the sunset”. i want the love i so desperately want to give and never get the chance to. i want to wake up and make his coffee and favorite thing to eat in the morning. i want to remind him he’s my everything every chance i get. i want to watch him play on his pc and get him to teach me. i want to stroke his hair and fill his face with kisses. i want to love him and call him mine. and maybe someday i’ll open up again and let that love fill me in, but for now, i’ll just love myself the way i want to be loved.

- nick <3